.ONSONG
.DISCLAIMERS
.VISAGES
hmm.....wait ba :p
.PROFILE
Name: Dyane Lee Hui Ling
Age: ......-.-lll......
From: Earth:p
Job: Technical Support Executive(A change after 9+ yrs?!)
Mini Bio
food Anything not too spicy n not vege^o^
drink Ice Lemon Tea...Pink Dolphin!!
colour Blue
game Candy Crush, Tower of Saviours, Sims 3, Cabal, Pangya, O2Jam, Audition, Maple Story, fullmetal alchemist, Suikoden3, PoT, Naruto etc...etc
anime Long long time never catch up on anime...used to be fullmetal alchemist is one..eh..Tactics, Naruto, PoT, School Rumble, Haruka Hachiyou Shou.....lots more others
manga Skip Beat, Prince of Tennis, xxxHolics,fullmetal alchemist heeehee...eh...almost same as above lah
book Mortal Instruments series, Dan brown's collection, Harry Potter series, Chronicles of Narnia..
author hmmm....not much preference
.NEEDS
O means done and X means failed
[O]Go on holiday!!!!
[X]Laptop
[X]Sims 4
[X]A pair of new Heels
[O]Shower gel
[X]A boyfriend haha:p
.SHOUT
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.STARRYNITES
.PEOPLE
.CREDITS
Designed by:
jovenaloon
Pictures from:
pincel3d
Tuesday, December 26, 2017
Year End Conclusion
In a blink, another year is coming to an end soon. I guess, updating this blog is gonna be an annual thing haha.
From 2016 till now...ending of 2017. Life have been more happy and enjoyable except that i have been spending too much :p
Last year, was great as i get to bring mum on travel overseas. Its a pity its not the whole family though but im glad mum is happy. I will learn to plan something more relaxing for her as her energy level is not as high already.
Parents age are catching up, the time spent with them may be shorter and shorter. Hope i can spend more quality time with them.
Life is full of unpredictables. Grandma was hospitalised suddenly when she was seeing the doc for having diarrhoea. The diagnosis was so sudden that her blood pressure was too low n her kidney has water(as drip coz of dehydration) need to do dialysis?! But in order to do it, her pressure need to be normal.
Doctor gave us a shock as they informed grandma is in critical condition. What a turn from diarrhoea to critically ill. So eventually grandma was admitted n in ICU for a few weeks before condition stabled and transferred to normal ward. Whole family has been going to the hospital everyday to visit her, praying that her condition will improve. Its sad when seeing her in bed with so many tubes. Its an agony for her and she keep pleading to just let her go, she has lived enough. Really really sad to see loved ones in this state. But thank god she recovered.
Thats the major happening in 2016. Work life is norm, no ups or down. Personal life...travel too much haha :p 1 yr went taiwan 3 times: 1st with emily (my ex-manager), 2nd with Mum n Bj, 3rd is with Karen at year end. In between, went Seoul too. Think im over doing n burning my pocket a big big hole.
Somemore my BTO is gonna be ready earliest in 2018, latest by Sept 2019. Gosh, can't believe im getting my own house soon.
So its a happening 2016 lol ^o^
2017....toward the closure of this year. What has been going on this year?
1st half of the year is quiet and peaceful. No travel, no spending.
But 2nd half...1 taiwan, 1 Melbourne n 1 last min Sydney :p
Taipei with Bj is a short trip. It has been a while since last travelled with her alone. Its a shopping n eating trip haha.
Melbourne, finally make a trip there alone to find Qing. Its a total different feel to travel alone. Get to spend some time with Qing. Its a good catch up, although i feel a bit paiseh disturbing her routine. Its an enjoyable 1 week break. Great weather, nice company, good alone space.
While Qing is away @ work, i get to spend alone time in the house. Break from all, look out at the greens, enjoy the wind. Mind is at peace.
I never thought i will go Australia again so soon. The following month after the Melbourne trip, mum is free to travel again. Last min decide to go Sydney. I do not mind to travel with her but the planning made me felt pissed n money spent not worth for that trip.
The agency is a cheat! Overall, trip is good, mum enjoyed the weather but we decided, next time just family, no more with others.
Some happenings set me thinking of my past.
Hmm looking back at my past blog postings, a question start floating in my mind...how did i overcome the mentally stressed n depress period?
Past postings mostly are not happy. Its not a few months, but a few years...I wonder how many people did read into it haha.
I have been a reserved person, not able to speak my mind. Im not good at words and cannot express myself well.
I guess its also a habit since young. Whatever said the reply will be, "its like that". Then whats there for me to say anymore. I start to keep things to myself as there is no one to turn. I dare not let others know as the fear of being judged or be looked down is way more worse for a kid. When get older, i learn to digest the angoise n release the emotion by crying.
Late in the night when everyone is asleep, that is the time where crying in silence is my outlet of clearing the grievance.
So when one tell me to open up and tell, how hard it is for me. The insercurity and defenceless feel is just not what i like. I hope people understand but i fear being see through. Dilemma.
But im learning to open up....learning still. So please don't try to dig too deep as i will feel intimidated n remain silent.
Smiling is the best cover for me. It makes me feel positive. If 1 day i stop smiling........
So be more positive, look on the bright side, and don't feel depress and lonely anymore.
To end this post, Life is a Journey. Live it, experience it, enjoy it. SMILE :)
Monday, January 18, 2016
Wrapping up 2015
So, its the new 2016. Into the 3rd week of this brand new year, what lies ahead is a mystery but will hope to make a better life out of this new year.
Summing up 2015, the greatest feel was i finally get to see Spring's Cherry Blossom during March in Tokyo and Osaka; Winter's Snow during December in Hokkaido...all in Japan! Besides the scenery and weather, the best is traveling with friends and family. Also had an incredible 1 day Bangkok trip with family in the super heated temperature during July. But fun cause 1st time taking plane with my family.
2015 has been an interesting year. Got posted to airport office to assist. Made new friends there and yup, never knew our airport have so many food stalls. A lot of walking between the 3 terminals, good exercise :p. Generally felt that the year i have learnt and seen a lot more. Be it life or work experience.
I'm living each day with thanks. Can never ask for more when i'm blessed to have family and friends always by my side. Mum undergo both eye surgery for her cataract, thank god that all is smooth and good.
Hope this 2016 will be as fruitful and fulfilling......
Monday, February 02, 2015
Time is going too fast
A month of this 2015 has passed and CNY is just round the corner. Seems so fast each day goes by. A lot of spring cleaning need to be done. As always, i have to clear away as much of stuff as possible. I have a tendency of storing things which might no longer be of use, or just not necessary. But sometimes i just can't make up my mind to throw it away :p *MUST THROW THIS TIME*
I have been pondering what i will wanna achieve this year. There have been changes here and there but i have not been anticipating much. Felt so detected in most things. Dunno why keep having a feel that i am at a crossroad. Need a direction to go. *feeling emo :(*
First thing is i must fulfill the Japan trip!
Time at work is going like a breeze. The new environment to adapt, new people to socialize with, new skills to learn etc. Keep having a thought: Is this what i want to do?
I can't complain about it as i am getting paid much better and job is not as tedious as the previous. Is it that the pace is too slow? No system in doing stuff that made me wonder how things are gonna be handle and follow-up?
A lot of things is going on in my mind. But i dunno what is hindering me.......am i feeling stress? Or im merely thinking too much. Hope i dun lose my focus and run wild :p
Monday, December 22, 2014
Love is...
Why am i starting on this? Well its because have been seeing friends around me being hurt here and there by this 'LOVE'. Some may be very fortunate some are just so unlucky.
Love is a very special feeling. It can make you feel in heaven as well as miserable like hell. A friend who recently experience a breakup has been in a miserable state. Every now and then will try look for people to keep accompany so that the thought of breakup can be distracted. But well, it doesn't seems to be working if the one person does not walk out of the relationship. We as friends can only console but to walk out of it will have to depend on individual. Saying is always easy, but doing yeah i understand it is hard. Emotions can be overwhelmed at times till no matter how rational you are thinking, actions may be otherwise.
I guess i am afraid of this hurt.....
Friday, December 05, 2014
TGIF!
Each day pass real fast and am wondering what have i achieved so far...
Life has been casual, easy. Regular meet-ups with friends for catch ups almost every week. Everyday at work seems to be at ease but i felt pressured cause there is nothing much to do and learning or picking up new stuff seems too slow. Think i am too used to being 'fast'. So not used to it.
Trying to learn new skills on my own like SQL programming which has so lost touch after school days. But found that it look so familiar as it seems so similar like linux language. The previous programming language used in my ex-company was still stuck in my head. 7 odd yrs is really no joke. Wanna forget also hard.
Almost half yr past since i left there but have been in contact with some staffs there too. Kinda miss the people but not the work :p Basically i think i missed reaching home b4 6pm. But strangely i felt less tired working here now. Maybe less stress i guess.
I am too free now that i have time to write blog almost everyday. Sometimes the mind is in a blank but things just start flowing into the mind, reflecting...*sigh*
Thursday, December 04, 2014
A Rainy Day...
Woke up in the morning thinking that it is still early cause don't see any sunshine. Then again looking at the alarm, its already 730am. Just realized that it is about to rain that's why so gloomy. A headache start developing and it did not subside after shower. Thought my morning coffee will cure it but guess i am wrong. Maybe a longer sleep will do the trick but its time to go work :p
It is a relief that i do not have much thoughts of giving up on this job. Although for now i am still unsure of my scope, there are still stuff for me to learn. Think i have to take it slow since the previous job got me so choked up in picking up new stuff in days or say...hours! Also i can't make rush decisions now. Everything needs $$, and i am overspending >.< To think previously when pay wasn't that high, i was able to save $$ but nowadays i will be thankful if i did not swap any of my cards:p
Lifestyle change as we grow. More and more pressure and stress faced each day. Be it financial issue, family issue, relationships issue, life still need to go on. Its a matter of how you see the issues. Think positively and face it or live in misery and sunder by it. All are our choices.
There is a day when met up with a close friend who has not been in contact for quite a while. Only these 2 months we are back in contact for meet ups. We used to be on impromptus meet ups but she seems to be so busy. Thinking she might be wanting to spend more time with family as her FB updates r mostly those, so did not ask her out that frequently. Or rather, most of the time she is the one initializing the meet-ups. I do not have the habit of asking people out as to me, my schedules are more flexible as compared to other friends and i feel that they might be busy so i rather not disturb. So when she stopped attending gatherings and cease our impromptu meetup, i was a bit worry. Tried asking her out a few times but failed so i stopped. Only on/off messaging asking if all is well.
It somehow breaks my heart when see her cry while having dinner 1 day. She must have been bottling up too much till finally breakdown in front of me. This is not the first time though. But it pains me to see a friend having to put up so much to balance work-life, family and friends. And all she needs is a word of concern, appreciation.
Feeling appreciated and knows that there is someone who cares is important. Although i may say i don't need it, i am strong, i can deal with it or i don't really care but deep down inside who knows i am yearning for it? If i feel that you are busy, i will not disturb. I remember kena said by a friend that i am drifting away from the friendship cause i do not seems to care about her anymore. Less in contact doesn't mean i do not care. Its just that it might be my assumed thoughts that you are busy with life and all. I presumed that you know i am free most of the time. If want a chat or a meet up, i am just a call away. My phone is on 24hrs. For those who knows me well, should know this.
I know sometimes i should initiate more rather than wait. There is a lot of things or rather habits that i should change, i am learning to. It has not occur to me that i have to voice out my unhappiness to others. I am so used to bottling it all up till i breakdown. Breaking down also is in silence. Crying silently in the night is my way of relief. Maybe it is the insecurity feeling. I do not like to feel 'exposed'. I am afraid that i'm hindering my friends with my unhappiness. So i keep things to myself...but now, learning to express my feelings more. ^o^
Wishing all my friends and their family are blessed and happy, be away from all unhappiness...
Monday, November 17, 2014
Monday Blues
It is going 930am and here i am seated alone in the office. No one is in the office yet. I wonder am i working at the correct timing?
Suddenly come across a message on fb "Some people relax with TV, some people relax with a book, and some people relax with friends. But when was the last time you rested by truly doing nothing? Sometimes it's necessary to simply be still and breathe."
Maybe i really should take time do nothing and just breathe. But it scares me at time to be alone doing nothing. I can go all blank and stone. Stone till i feel so soulless >.< Don't like this feeling. it seems like i will start imagining stuff...
I enjoy being alone reading, watching tv or surfing net. But not doing nothing. The feeling of loneliness will just kick in :( Getting emotional is not my cup of tea. Dun like to feel out of control.
Sometimes i do need an outburst, to cry, to scream, whatever. Bottoming too much feelings jams me but that's me. So used to keeping to myself. My outlet to release is cry. But now i doesn't even feel like crying anymore. I will do things to keep myself, my mind occupied.
What for to think so much? Can't we just think simply? Live a simple life?
In this society is difficult i know. Friends around me have been asking me what plans i have in future. As next yr i am officially able to get my own flat but to think that my savings is not like last time after all the travels, i am worried myself to think about it. Like my mum said, i can buy but i won't hv $$ to reno >.<
Yesterday was at a close friend's wedding dinner. As usual kena the the same old question of when my turn as at the table mostly are married with kids. Luckily im not the only single so throw the arrow to the others haha :p Sometimes i just feel that getting attached or getting married is not the point in my life. If the feel is not right, why get attached? Or am i treating every guy who are nice just being nice. I don't want to read too much into their acts. I dun want to get the wrong idea also. For me, its very simple, just get it straight, although i may think its a joke though :p I am someone who lacks confidence and have a bit of inferior complex. So i would rather not think too much and get myself hurt.
I am blessed with many friends around me. I feel bad at times when they share their happiness and sorrows with me but i am not doing the same. It is not that i do not trust them. It is just that i am too used to keeping the innermost feelings to myself. The feeling of being exposed make me feel vulnerable. Is it pride? I do not what my burden on others as to me, when with friends, it is to be happy.
I remember i almost blow myself to the extreme and get all upset for no reason and the feeling of being at lose is too much to tolerate. A friend came to me and spoke, comforted me. Broke me down to tears in front of her. I never did that. Tears to me are my silent sorrows in the night and is to swallow on my own only. I tried bit by bit to open up to them. Difficult but am trying till this day.
Hmm...why am i writing all this. Think i am too free now to pen down all this thoughts :p Monday blues...(n im in blue lol :p)
