The star u gave me..
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
sun set at 1:22 AM
Being too nice but hv no good return aka 好心被雷劈, 自找麻烦！:p

Just wanna 发点牢骚。。。。

Recently kena a case which initially not done by me. I was
only taking it ( an add-on to the case) last week when i see no one seems to be
taking it up....even the one who is following on it also din take lor?! Then now
it become mine?? Just because i'm senpai?

By telling me now is not the
time to pin point whose fault is it for not following up(?!) and saying d head
is not updated?? Y is it that for me i have to keep her updated then the person
involve in the case no need mah? The one that sent out the email that say to
inform when the case happen again...then what is done? The one that advice the
person to act on the case, dun tell me dunno lor. If really dunno, who ask to do
d trace de? Still can trace less then required somemore...then tell me dunno hv
another?! Who is not taking the case seriously here??

It mayb my fault
for not updating my head (i updated a bigger head??), but well, d same question
will still come back mah! This sound so crappy! Like i ask something extra lor.
Y is she so quiet in the meeting when seeing me involve in the case but from
record, my name is not there at all lor. Am i being too busybody to try to help?
Should hv just inform d person who is following up to act on it!

When
i'm on the conversation wif the sale incharge toking abt how to interpret, i'm
sure its heard. How come when tech is on the line wif me she can hear la but
when i kena case she seem cannot hear leh? Does it means as long as i did not
personally go up to ask for advice or help, i'm not being entertained? Or she is
acting a savior to save the case when its blown?

Is my words so doubtful
and can't be trusted? If i really not taking the case seriously, i would not
have take the initiative to followup... The person doing din even call to
followup. I really wonder why even wanna help speak up for the case. Wah d more
i comment the more stupid i feel.

Sometimes feels that being too nice
will not be good in return...now it seems its my fault for not escalating. We
are not proactive enough....?? Mayb they can try go ask customer who actually
follow-up on the cases n monitor and will contantly go ask if still hv the
issue?! Not just this case but others too....

Sometimes these cases make
me sick & tired. Very funny, a fren call today and asked if still in the
same company. He was commenting y with my potentials i'm still stuck there?!
Haha i'm asking myself the same question:p But haiz, wif economic like that now,
wanna find another place is hard lah.

Now i just wanna get on with what i'm doing, make the best out of it. Rather then make myself so miserable n stress. Luckily Thurs i'll be away on my holiday trip! Yeah, i really wanna hv a break from this country haha:p


Thursday, February 12, 2009
sun set at 12:25 PM
Resolution for the year....

Wah, so fast now already Feb and CNY is over too. It has been abt 3 mths (or more:p) since i last updated this blog:p. Yah, basically i'm lazy + no mood....:pLast year was a pretty up-down year for me. Which eventually resulted to this year's resolution hohoho:)

Resolutions for the year:

  1. Sleep early!
  2. Excercising more often
  3. Be more organzised ( not only @ work but at home too)
  4. Spend more time @ home
  5. Save $$

There are some others but i shall juz focus on the above 1st.
So this year is a new start. No matter what happen last year or previously is already over! No point brooding (i dun think i will remember too:p) and i should just move on with life and find a new direction.

Have been watching a lot of movies, reading books and surfing the internet. Seems like i am also losing touch of the latest anime as i am more into Taiwan Idol drama or Jap/Korean drama nowadays:p

Has been starting my Jap course since January, now is already the 8th lesson. It is more like a refresher course as most of the things taught i do remember haha. Surprisingly i thought i will fall asleep in class coz everytime on the way to class, i was super tired after a day's work, but i didn't:) I pretty enjoy the 2 hrs of class every tues & thurs evening. Hee, and also because i'm not taking it alone ah, dear BJ is taking wif me too:)

Oh, this year's birthday, i'll not be in Singapore! Hee, for the 1st time, i'll be celebrating my bday overseas lol.

Hmm...for how long i have not written a light-hearted blog?? Was last year really so bad:p Well, i just wanna keep myself going and stay happy^o^ That's me:)


Tuesday, October 07, 2008
sun set at 11:35 PM
Back from a short trip^.^


Hee, a long waited trip of relaxation was finally fulfilled:p Last Friday went to Genting with Serene's family, Pearl, Miao, Alex n Pieng Nam:) This trip was filled with laughter n joy:) Hope to have another trip with them again haha. When on way back we are already discusing abt another short trip in Dec hohoho:p

I was quite worried before the trip because i was having fever on Tues (luckly wed is hari raya so i get to rest@ home) then down with flu & cough. My mum is also asking if i still wanna go in this state. I was telling myself, i have been waiting for sometime for this trip to break away from work stress, no matter wat, i wanna enjoy myself. And i'm glad i went:) Although i am still sick la:p

Some Pics to share:) I've uploaded on Friendster & Facebook too^o^
Taken when we are still waiting for our check-in

Serene n Family

From Left: Pearl, Lele, Pieng Nam, me n Miao

My food...light n healthy *cough*

After recharging, now is back to work haha. When i was back in office, lady boss asked how's d trip n if i'm feeling better. Quite touched:) Now i'm ready for the next round of challenge coming my way. Its always great to face challenges then plainly pass by the days.


Thursday, September 18, 2008
sun set at 1:08 AM
Face the reality!

I'm not sure if anyone can see or notice that i'm undergoing a tremedous stress period. I dunno that i am so vunerable and is so easily hurt by words. I tend to show that i dun take those to heart...but now i realise...it is rooted deep inside my heart. Thats y most of the time its only when after the thing has happen and after a few days then i reflect and react on it. But most of the time will ended up telling myself nevermind, juz go on n forget about it.
I know that i'm not good at expressing my feeling to anyone as i cant feel the security and also it has been me for so long to bottom up everything. i remember i wrote on a previous entry that i'm trying to open up myself, dun take in everything, learn to let go. I can say...its very hard!
I'm pretty touched yesterday after a chat wif my lady boss which she asked another 2 colleagues to stay on too. She asked if i'm ok and because previously i mentioned that i felt left out in my dept, dunno if there is any improvement or not. Well, i felt that stress make me super sensitive to what others say or act. In turn it impacts on me in a way which i cant see! She actually said i shd not bottom up, if need to tok, can tok to them. "Learn to love yourself" she says. Haha...this was what Sok told me too:) Also not to be so self-centred and take in (should i say absorb) everything as i will burst 1 day eventually.....
Learning to address the stress that i'm having is important. But finding the root cause to this is even more crucial. I dunno if its due to family? Work? Peers? I DON'T KNOW?!
I remembered last week i was meeting the gals. As i was early, so i shop shop around 1st. I was pretty stunned that i felt like an empty soul walking in the crowd! My mind was blank....i was telling them jokingly abt it when i met them.....but dunno if it caught any of them as i was quite shocked myself when i thought abt it again. i am never in this state before, am i ok!!! Its juz like losing my control at work and suddenly felt depressed and helpless, then cried. This happened twice.
Lady boss quoted something like that anything that happened to us is not something we cannot handle, all things happen because it is to be managed and for us to overcome and dealt with. So now i am sitting here typing this entry, reflecting on my happenings and behaviors.
Looking back at my entries....since when did my blog started to sound so full of unhappiness....
Something happen to my Dad recently...his legs are weak and have difficulties walking or standing without much support. I must say i do fear this to happen. i do not know how to handle my emotion on this matter. i know i tend to escape and try not to face the problem and juz let it lie there. But this is something i can't avoid. Mum told me to take leave on friday to help tend the store. I tried toking to mum that since Dad is unwell, and there is no helper to help tend the store, y not close it for a few days then. i can't be always be taking leave if Dad's condition does not improve and i can say it is a long run. Moreover, mum also not in good health. Do you now how much it hurts me when she says i dun care abt them. If i tell them to rest will they listen? Do they care what i said? They will always gimme their 101 reasons. Mum says i dun communicate with her.....seeing her back from work already so tired, of coz i let her rest, read some books n sleep rite. They dun even know i'm in a struggle with my emotions.
There was once i broke out in tears when i was back home for lunch during their off day( they off only bcoz market requires cleaning n governement make them not to open store) on my work day, my mum juz laughed at me say i'm silly. I have been suppressing all this emotion and only reveal to myself when i totally cannot take it anymore by crying. Even crying is in silent.....swallowing most of it....then tell myself, after waking up from sleep, everything still will go on. Life still goes on.....
I can put up a strong front but juz as suddenly, the tears in my eyes juz flows.... am i going out of control? Whats causing all this?? Super bad feeling..........
I dun like people to see thru me as i feel insecure therefore i tend to coverup with my front that i'm ok.....but now i think i'm too weak to even put up the front....is this change a part of opening up myself? In order to go further not only in work but also in life, i know i have to overcome this.
But i dunno how.............................................................................


Friday, August 08, 2008
sun set at 1:22 AM
I Dun Understand!!!

So frustrated and upset! Writing this to release some anger....
Recently there is a lot of going-ons at work. There is a lot of stress which i have to learn to manage. I think i gonna hit my peak of limit anytime~then BOOM!.
Like sometimes i was accused for not getting my info correct and have been passing last min work to the techs. Please lor, in the 1st place if i know, I'll tell already lor, i dun even noe there is a follow-up of the job or it was only issued last min! The scheduling is not so simple & i can do wonders if i can separate my mind from my programming(my main priority scope at work) and at the same time manage the schedule of the techs + answering calls from customers & technicians & helpdesk asking for schedules! Now d dept also hv to take up trainer job....which means addition responsiblity! I hv been trying very hard to find my balance & sort my priorities!
What we want is solution! If telling me off helps, then pls try to do my job then tell me how its like! I noe everyone is under a lot of stress especially recently there are a lot of projects coming up. But do understand that if i noe what to do, i wont have to ask already! I would have taken my own action & wat for i ask some more? To get more humiliation & sarcasm?
I can get angry also de! If really got me blown up....i dun think I'll feel bad:p i respect ur schedules doesnt mean d tone of ur voice can b so mean lor. Nowadays shortage of manpower i also noe. But customers' request what i can do? Tried to push le but sometimes juz cannot lor. Pls do it urself then! Its not that i everyday smile smile means i hv to take in all the gibberish!!
Hmm...this is gonna sound off-brand but now come to think of it, my manager is right, it time to pass over all the scheduling of job to the tech's sup! Why shd i bother so much! what for get myself so worked up & stress?! I cant cope these much of loads!
I juz dun understand why pple cant say things nicely. juz bcoz u r stress does not mean u hv to b mean to another person to make urself feel better!
Does it mean i slap u le, then after that i tell u I'm sorry. It is ok?! Its rubbish!
Cant anyone understand my position? How hard i'm trying? Some stuff are juz not within my control mah! I also have my emo!
Can't believe i'm writing this & tearing @ the same time.....Crying do help me release some stress. After crying, i'll juz put everything behind & move forward. This mayb unhealthy coz i noe the root problem hv not been solved.....


Saturday, July 19, 2008
sun set at 10:25 AM
Out of Control!


I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt is another step forward.
~Thomas Edison
Opps...this is suppose to be up by July but .....haiz edited so many times:p till now: 3rd of Aug!
Hmmm....so sorry i got some of you so worried about me.... Yup, recently i have been under quite a lot of stress and was burnt out. This post is suppost to go up say 2 weeks ago. But after a long of sorting and thinking, the finalised is this.
Long story to go....

I do not know or understand why i was suddenly crying and felt so alone & isolated :( Usually for me, this usually is very short term. I'll feel emotional, only FEEL like crying. But this time round, I was crying suddenly for continuous 2 days?! The only thing that set me thinking how and why I got into this state is….work stress & human relation…. I feel that i seems to be getting more & more impatient...can snap anytime. I dun like this feeling of losing my self-control. Am i getting too agitated and sensitive with the going-ons ard me?

So news to share, my company is now doing Branding. What is Branding? Branding is the sum total of a company’s identity—from its name and logo to every piece of communication, internal or external—to every encounter every customer or potential customer has with it.

Cheem? Well it’s a great experience for me since I was select to be one of Brand Champions. This made me see some elements in me that can bring about to the others to help them in this Branding exercise. But there is pressure too. On top of me is my group lead, then the manager. But as brand champ, my head is the CEO…….

Like I mentioned, I felt this isolation in my dept… Is it that I’m sensitive? I’m quite weary of this going on. Things have been quite different. I’m not as close to them as before? So many things to question myself...

Also d relationship between sup & me is ...confusing ( to ME!). Sometimes when i'm already very upset abt what was said n done...d next moment when i'm cooler...she changed....wah, i hate this feel man! This is the part that got me really really upset....
After sorting some thots & advice from others...the explanation of her actions seems to suppose to be bringing me to see the other way of doing things. But well, people react differently to serveral gestures & actions i guess. How would u react if someone is giving u a stern face & said something quite commanding which is suppose to mean goodwill to u?! I cant feel the goodwill advice, i cant see the point that is to be brought about!

On 17th & 18th July attended this Problem solving & Decision making course. Its quite an insight for me becoz d trainer did not use the paper materials which states d matters of problem solving. Which actually when in school, all these already taught. it is juz a matter of whether u practise it or not. This trainer make us see the picture clearer through activities. Its quite stimulating and the psycology approach make me understand better. Have done a test to see if i'm a left or right brain. Hmmm, guess wat, i'm a total right brain - the brain that is for emotional & creative thinking. I'm the extreme right, which also means (according to the trainer) i'm full of empathy?!

Oh, this yr my company insync is @ Batam View Resort. Quite nice place and beautiful seaside:). The seafood @ the kelong there is nice too.
The View from the hotel room:)


My Team : VALUE (and we are the Victory team^o^v)

SSC Shines^.^ ( My dept:p)


Can u Spot me:p On Journey back home...



View of the poolside




Hee...its me:p

The whole of Commserv except 4 others joining us on later part of the day


So far so gd for now. Must practise wat sok taught me...gal, thx for the advice not forgetting the rose:p . Really really appreciate it! This is a time to pull myself thru the stressful period. I must believe that i can do it!

Oh, short story to shared:p Before this Insync, i was there for a 2D1N Brand Champ course. Had an encouter in the room...during dinner, my colleague is sharing her experience in on of the hotel in Bangkok. So after dinner, we went back to our room (twin-sharing) to get a shower b4 continuing burning midnight oil. I was having a nice hot shower. When i'm done, the mirror is already fogged. Then, when i look up at the mirror....i saw writings on it! i wasn't wearing my specs then, but my sight is still ok...i was stunned for a couple of mins. I thot to myself...logically speaking...mayb the previous occupant might hv wrote it there. Dun think too much. So i hurried settle myself, put on my glasses and went out. I told my colleague abt it so as she dun panick when she saw it. She asked if the writing is still there i said yup. So the 2 of us went to see...haha...well...its really nothing to worry:p Well, we were a bit late for the meeting wif the rest of the champs eventually. But haha, told them its their fault to hv said those story during dinner...then a bit freaked out when seeing that in d bathroom:p.......Luckily the next room i'm in during insync is better haha:)


Saturday, June 14, 2008
sun set at 9:51 AM
June already...

Hmm...suppose to upload this post on 13/06/08, but was in my draft....till now 20-06-08:p
So many going-ons this month. Starting of this week on Monday, i called home in the afternoon, mum told me that grandma hospitalised as she is been knocked down by car!! I was stunned and worried, for the rest of the day @ work...cant focus. Whole family went to the hospital in the evening. Can see that grandma is still in shock. She had 4 stitches at the back of the headache, some cuts and her blood pressure is high. Feel so sad to see her like that but luckily is nothing too serious. The story is, my aunt wants to bring her son & grandma out for lunch. When they are walking pass the carpark, this damn car is reversing to park. My grandma was walking behind my aunt. The car stopped when the driver saw my aunt on the left side, but my grandma was already shocked and fell down. If the driver was a little more reckless...my grandma's injury might be more serious. Thank god she is ok now^.^

Last weekend, manage to hv a hearty chat wif qing over msn. Hee, so long din hear her vocie le^.^ Qing, its really a good chat and catch up haha^^ hope to do it more offten:p

Recently the company is starting on Branding and a few of the staff are selected as brand champions. I'm one of them...which means, more stuff to do le. The 1st is a brand champion workshop in Batam from 26th June-27th June. And most probably we will have to plan for this year's Insync (4th-6th July) Wah, less then a week leh, how to plan?!

Hope this new activity can gain more valuable experience which so far i think is really essential and eye-opening.

This week watched 2 movies: Shaolin Girl and The Incredible Hulk. Quite nice n enjoyable:) Now looking forward to watching Don't mess with the Zohan^o^